


The New Resident

by Rycolfan (Snarryeyes)



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 12:52:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1470529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snarryeyes/pseuds/Rycolfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during Britline. Appearances can be deceptive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The New Resident

**Author's Note:**

> My second piece for the 2013 Mini Valentine's Day (alcohol and duct tape) Challenge on LJ. Prompt: Greg's new kitten isn't as cute as it looks.
> 
> Not real. No offense intended to those portrayed herein.

The sound of London traffic and the general everyday hustle and bustle of the city faded as Greg ushered Ryan and Colin into his flat and closed the door. Ryan ran a hand through his wet hair, showering droplets everywhere. Colin simply wiped the top of his head with his sleeve.

“Nice place,” Ryan said approvingly, looking around as he shrugged his coat off.

“It serves its purpose,” Greg replied. “Drink?”

“Yeah. Something hot. Or alcoholic. Or both.”

“Irish coffee it is,” Greg grinned. “Col?”

Colin placed his coat on the peg next to Ryan’s. “Just coffee, please.”

They followed him into the open-plan living room/kitchen, gazes roaming curiously, but while Greg headed straight for the kitchen, Colin and Ryan were brought to a halt before the couch.

“Er… Greg?” Ryan called, looking at the ripped cushions and scattered foam. “I think your couch has been the victim of a slasher movie.”

“Huh? Oh, that’s just my new flatmate.”

“You have a flatmate?” Colin frowned, clearing a place in the devastation in which to sit.

“And you make us stay in a crappy hotel,” Ryan said, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“Not that kind of flatmate,” Greg smirked, taking three mugs from a cupboard above the counter. “Look, he’s behind you.”

Colin and Ryan’s heads turned in unison to stare at the empty space behind the couch.

“Greg,” Ryan said slowly, “...do you see dead people?”

“Look down, wise guy.”

Both of them uttered a long, “Oh,” at the sight of the tabby kitten washing itself serenely.

“He’s cute,” Ryan added.

“Yeah. Just… be careful,” Greg warned.

“Careful?” Ryan scoffed, watching the kitten walk around to the front of the couch. “It’s just a little kitten. Aren’t yo— _OW! Jesus Christ!_ ”

Ryan shot up from the couch, the kitten firmly attached to his leg. Colin tried hard not to laugh as he got up to help, while Greg called, “Told you,” in a smug voice from the kitchen.

“Fuck! Get it off!” Ryan yelped, attempting to cover his crotch as the kitten clawed its way up his leg.

“Hold still then!” Colin ordered, grabbing the struggling ball of fur by the scruff and carefully extricating it from Ryan’s pants, leaving sizable holes. Colin dropped the kitten behind the couch, waiting until he’d stalked off before deeming it safe to sit back down.

“I swear he’s part tabby cat, part fucking tiger,” Greg remarked as he joined them and set the coffees down.

“Or demon,” Ryan grumbled, rubbing his injured leg as he sank down next to Colin. “Where the hell did you get him from? A séance?”

Greg shrugged. “He wandered in here one day, made it his home, and adopted me as his owner. How could I refuse?”

“With a shotgun.”

“That’s not nice, Ry,” Colin said disapprovingly.

“Not nice? Look what he did to my leg!”

Colin patted his arm. “I’ll kiss it better later.”

“Straight from the desk of too much information,” Greg cut in, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from the table. He grabbed the whisky bottle while he was at it. “Here, alcohol will do for now. Cures all.”

Ryan took it, bypassing his mug in favor of taking a swig straight from the bottle, screwing his face up as he swallowed a large mouthful. “You should duct tape little socks to his paws or something,” he rasped. “At least put a warning sign on the door.” He paused, the bottle resting on his lower lip as an evil glint entered his eyes.

“On second thought, next time just invite Dan along too.”


End file.
